Volleyball

No one really understands me and my strong need for volleyball. Its all i see myself doing in the future. No one understands that. Like how i never got to say goodbye to my best friend lauren before she moved. cause i had a volleyball tournament. they said "oh, just skip it". i cant. i made a commitment to my team. and they need me more then anything. no one really understands how nerve wrecking it is to try out fora volleyball team. i spend pretty much every waking moment practicing for the try outs in november, and let me tell you. im probably more nervous over that then i have been over anything. i mean what if i dont make it, what other options do i have? not many. im so scared, and when i dont make it, i dont know what to do. im so scared. all i see myself doing is playing. playing. and no one can understand that, ive pretty much threw everything away to play. i never get to hang out with my friends. its volleyball, all the time. i love that. but sometimes i miss them. like they dont even understand why i cant skip a tournament just to be with them. its called i signed a contract. i have volleyball more then 3 times a week for more then 2 hours a day, and tournaments EVERY saturday. i will soon hopefully travel and then i might miss four days of school or so. and they just cant understand. i live to play volleyball. its all i ever do, and they just cant understand, my life is so different now. its rediculous. but, im glad.